Dear other characters in Mia's head,
Saluations! Firstly I just wanted to say that because we almost never speak apart from awkward moment in the corridor when we're passing each other on the way to the bathroom, and that's just awkward and usually I try not to catch anyone's eye. Literally and metaphorically because eyes are so squishy and, dead or undead, you guys should try to keep it to yourself.
Anyhow. Next is a kind request from your local neighbourhood future girl, me. I'll jump right in and say it; could we please stop leaving the toilet lid up? Hmmm? I know this is not glamorous but, frankly, it's just good manners and I expect better at least from some of the younger zombies. Elder zombies, I understand you have issues reaching things without dropping limbs, and I respect that stretching is an issue, but if you need help just gurgle. Sheesh.
Not only will this benefit the females of the house, this will also put a stop to the people falling into the basin of the loo. Do you know how much poker playing time was lost last week due to incidents like this? No? Well it was a lot and I really hate having to pry people out of it rather than getting my game on. I need the practice. I'm down at LEAST three shoes and some sort of scarf thing I procured from the wardrobe when Mia was off getting soup.
Plus, on top of that, we were nearly discovered by Mia the other day and that would have been terrible for all us. You know what will happen if she finds out about the card games in the bathroom. We can't afford to lose this room, it's the only one she's forgotten to ban. Remember? Right. Good. So put the lid down. You will find the next game time neatly penned beneath the fountain out by the third washing line. Just say the password and wait. Please also bring three shoes and some sort of scarf to the game, this will be your entrance fee.