10 Things and a Chat with Jalmari

The computer screen casts a dim glow on J.D.'s head. Her face is just visible under the pile of post-it notes. Deep, slow breaths claim the air as a trickle of saliva runs across the wood and dampens the ends of her hair. Jalmari phases into the room and glances at J.D. A sigh ensues before he phases back into the hall, then barges in, banging the door against the wall.

J.D. jolts upright then glances around the room in confusion for a few moments before she realizes she has company. "Oh, hey, Jalmari. Can I help you?"

"Yes. We need to talk."

JD puzzles the damp knot of hair stuck to the side of her face and goes to work trying to brush it out with her fingers. "You guys have a post due for the Character Cafe, don't forget."

Jalmari frowns. "Have one of the others do it."

A coy smile inches across J.D.'s face. "You're already here. The topic is '10 Favorite Things'." She waves at the computer while standing, then disappears into the adjacent bathroom. She enters the room again in an instant with a hairbrush and makes a constipated-looking face as she forces the brush through the snarled hair.

"If I do the post, can we talk about something serious?"

"Mm? Yeah, sure."

Jalmari narrows his eyes, giving J.D. his "I-mean-business look", but J.D. is oblivious and continues to work on her hair. With a sigh, he seats himself at her desk and types.

10 Favorite Things
by Jalmari ta Korento

1. Blood
2. Sex
3. Flying
4. Speed
5. Being the leader of my clan
6. Having an author around to write my biography
7. Which
8. She

9. Is not
10. Doing.

Jalmari hits "save" then leans back in the chair. "Blog post complete."

J.D. frowns, sets down the brush despite several locks of hair still being stuck together in one gooey chunk, and goes to look over Jalmari's shoulder. "Hey, you wrote that in chapter four of my WIP!"

"At least you have something in chapter four now."

J.D. narrows her eyes at Jalmari. "Let me guess, this 'serious talk' you want to have is about me not working on Dark Liaison, isn't it?"

Jalmari pivots the chair to face J.D. and crosses his arms. "Yes."

J.D. rolls her eyes. "Well it's not my fault! Jesu and Ema don't delegate the story like you do, and D.L. doesn't focus on you as much as the first book did, so you're S.O.L."

"But the third book does focus on me. I want that third book, J.D." Jalmari points a finger at a picture frame hanging in the center of the far wall. "You got that contract you so desperately wanted. You have a deadline now."

J.D. groans. "I know, I know."

"You made a commitment to yourself and to everyone, just like I made a commitment to my clan."

J.D. inhales a sharp breath and opens her mouth to speak--

"Do not even think about getting on the subject of the Council and me going A.W.O.L," he warns. "That is a completely different and justified condition."

J.D. exhales. "Oh sure, completely justified." She rolls her eyes.

"I'm going to send my brother and the girl in now. I expect to see some progress before you retire for the night."

A dead-pan stare crosses J.D.'s face then turns into a pout. "Fine, but have Ema make me a cup of coffee first. She's the only one that remembers not to mix blood into my drinks."

Jalmari nods then leaves the room. J.D. quickly shuts the door then flings herself onto the bed and buries under the blankets. A soft snore fills the room in no time.

The Vampires Make a Character

Jesu:  Is the post were we write J.D. as a character?

Ema:  Yeah, we're doing it now since last time we announced the news about our book instead.

Jalmari:  This topic is simple, J.D. would love to be a vampire.

Jesu:  I agree.

Ema:  *Nods* Defiantly.

Jalmari's lips curl into an impish grin:  The real question is which clan would she belong to?

Jesu returns his brother's grin and pulls out a large, leather book crammed with wrinkly yellow pages.

Ema rolls her eyes:  Not that thing again.

Jesu sits and props the book on his lap. He flips through the pages:  I think the Eretikan clan suits her.

Jalmari:  Interesting choice...yes, I can see her quite at home with the Eretikan.

Ema:  Ahem, some of us have no idea what you're talking about.

Jalmari:  You ought to study then.

Jesu: The Eretikan was a Russian clan of vampires. Small, timid creatures, but very deadly. They looked a little bit like large fairies, but with fangs instead of wings.

Ema:  Thank you for clearing that up.

Jalmari:  It's too bad they're extinct.

Jesu shurgs: J.D. has the ability to bring them back, you realize?

Jalmari makes a face: I hope she didn't hear that.

Ema:  If Jalmari thinks that would be a bad idea, then I definitely vote against it.

Jesu:  Relax, this is only for fun.

Jalmari:  I'm sure that little tyrant would be queen of the clan as well.

Ema gives Jalmari a look:  I don't know how she puts up with you.

Jalmari:  You know I'm right.

Jesu:  As much as I hate to admit, I do think J.D. would be the villain in any story. Most likely a seductress.

Ema:  Oh, you guys. I think J.D. would take a secondary job, like Maria, helping when she's needed.

Jalmari:  Hey, Jesu, do you think she would have violet eyes or silver?

Jesu:  Violet. It is her favorite color.

Ema snorts:  I'm sure she'd have both.

Jalmari:  Ahh, so you admit our author is a tyrant.

Ema:  No! I just know she likes both of those colors and well...she made my eyes black and red...so why can't hers be violet and silver?

Jesu:  Alright, so Eretikan vampire queen with violet and silver eyes and long, black hair...

Jalmari:  With a Napoleon  attitude...

Ema:  What is with you and the short jokes?

Jalmari snickers:  You just don't like it because she made you the same height - or lack of...

Ema:  Oh, you are so dead!

Jesu:  Can we focus please?

Jalmari:  Call it "Dark Tyrant Imp"!

Ema:  I'm leaving now.

Jesu shakes his head and chuckles.

J.D. walks into the room as Ema leaves. Ema:  Do not ask them about today's post.

J.D. smiles:  I'm just happy I finally found a topic you were all so eager to discuss.

The Announcement

Ema, Jesu, Jalmari, Maria, and Naamah line up shoulder to shoulder. Each vampire has a big, goofy grin on their face.

J.D.:  Okay guys, ready? Maria, we'll start with you.

Maria beams and steps forward:  Darling readers, today we hope you forgive us for not following the assigned topic.

Naamah:  While we would love to poke fun at J.D., we have an exciting announcement to share instead.

Jesu:  Yesterday, our author, J.D., received word that Dark Heirloom has been accepted for publication and is now under contract with Muse It Up Publishing Inc.

Jalmari:  So please take a moment to extend your sincere congratulations to J.D. Brown.

Ema:  And know that by this time next year, Jalmari, Jesu, Naamah, Maria, and I will be available on e-readers everywhere! Congrats Jen, we all knew you could do it!

*All the vampires gather around J.D. for a group hug*

J.D.:  Aww, I love you guys. *sniffle*

Too Much Spare Time

*Everyone crowds around J.D.'s computer desk and looks over her shoulder.*

Ema: I don't get it.

Jalmari: Nor do I.

Jesu: *sighs* I am afraid I do not understand either.

J.D.: *puts her elbows on the desk and rest her chin in her hands* Okay, what don't you understand this time?

*The three vampires glance at each other*

Ema: Today's topic, "Favorite place to spend spare time".

J.D.: And that is confusing because...?

Ema: Oh, how do I say this nicely? Well, all our time is spare time lately.

J.D.: Hey! I've been working on you book everyday for the past two weeks. *pouts*

Jesu: Yes and we appreciate that, but we don't actually do anything while you edit.

J.D.: Well then, that should mean you guys have lots to talk about for this post, right?

Jalmari: Mmm.

Ema: All we do is lounge around your house.

Jalmari: Indeed.

J.D.: Great - talk about that.

*All three vampires groan*

J.D.: Oh, by the way... you guys are bunch of liars, mmkay? When was the last time I had a good night's sleep?

*The vamps glance at each other. Jesu rubs the back of his neck, Jalmari glances away, Ema bites her lip and looks at the floor.*

J.D.: *Crosses her arms over her chest* That's what I thought. Now get typing.

Ema: Alright, alright, I'll handle this. *She sits at the in the computer chair. Jesu and Jalmari watch over her shoulders*

*Ema types* - In our spare time, we like to bug J.D. about scenes for book 2 and the rest of the series, which, I would like to point out, she hasn't started yet...

J.D.: Not true! Book 2 is outlined, so NUR!

*Ema rolls her eyes and continues* ... which, I would like to point out, she hasn't started WRITING yet. J.D. doesn't like this because it causes her to toss in her sleep and often wake up and work on our story at all hours of the night. But we can't help it if we get bored at night, we're vampires, we're NOCTURNAL, plus we don't sleep anyways, but we are much more active in the night. If she had wanted normal characters, she should have stuck with humans.

Jesu: You are getting a bit harsh there, don't you think?

Jalmari: It works for me. *He wonders of to the living room*

Ema: I guess we'll just end it here?

Jesu: *nods* Let's go see if J.D. has any more O-negative in her fridge.

Ema: *glances at her hands* If she does, we better take it outside. I almost bit one of her Pomeranians last time.

Name Change Announcment and Other Things.

J.D. sits at her desk with a fresh cup of steaming coffee. She takes a sip while pondering the next scene. Ema enters the room and sits on the bed. She crossed her legs Indian-style and folds her hands in her lap.

Ema: Hey, J.D.

J.D.: Oh, hello Ema. Thanks for coming.

Ema: No problem. What's up?

J.D.: Well, as you know, I've re-opened Dark Heirloom and am working on it again. So I just wanted to touch base with you, since you're the main character.

Ema: Sure. What do you want to talk about?

J.D.: For starters, could you explain your new name to the audience?

Ema: Oh, yeah. *She faces the readers* This is Jenna speaking. J.D. changed my name to Ema. She said our names where too similar and that she's sick of everyone complaining about all the J names, so she caved and changed my name. I'm still trying to get used to it.

J.D.: Yeah, me too. So, Ema, how are you?

Ema: *shrugs* Fine.

J.D.: No complaints? Comments? Anything?

Ema glances around the room: Not really. Everything's pretty much the same.

J.D. sighs.

Ema giggles: You were looking for ideas, weren't you?

J.D.: Maybe.

Ema: The book's already written. I can't help you revise.

J.D. pouts: I know. Can you at least tell me what you think of the changes? *She waves a hand at the computer screen.*

Ema looks over J.D.'s shoulder: It looks good to me. Honestly, J.D., I'm not the writer. I can only react to what you throw at me.

J.D. grumbles: Alright. Can you at least tell me what you think about the changes I made to your character? You know, besides the name?

Ema thinks: You mean making me a History Major? Well I think it's awesome that you gave me a collage education, but it doesn't really help my situation, does it?

J.D. laughs: No, but it does make the scenes a little more fun later.

Ema rolls her eyes: You mean when I find out history is a big hoax? Yes, thanks for making my let-down an even bigger deal.

J.D. grins: You're welcome. I guess you can go if you want, but can you send Jesu in next?

Ema scrunches her face: You two spend a lot of time together. I know he's giving you ideas and I'm sure I won't like what they are.

J.D.: Hey, Jesu's on your side.

Ema scoffs: So he says. I'm not always sure. You know how loyal he is to his brother.

J.D.: Would you rather I get ideas from Jalmari? *wiggles eye brows*

Ema frowns: No.

J.D.: I didn't think so. :-)

Ema rolls her eyes: One vampire muse, coming right up.

J.D. rubs her hands together then starts typing.

Interview with a Vampire

J.D. sips a mug of coffee at the dining table. Jesu enters and sits across form her. "You wanted to speak with me?"

J.D. glances up. "Oh, Jesu, hi."

"Hello."

"Um, yeah, I decided we've been slacking off with our character posts and I'd like you to do today's topic."

Jesu smiles. "Of course. What is the topic?"

"Childhood memories."

Jesu furrows his brow and licks his lips. "Oh."

J.D. quirks a brow. "Oh?"

Jesu folds his hands in his lap and concentrates on the crystal candle holders on the table. "It is just that ... my childhood wasn't a very happy one."

J.D. snickers. "It's better than the alternative."

Jesu raises his brows. "Which is...?"

J.D. wrinkles her nose. "Jalmari's."

Jesu chuckles. "Yes, my childhood is much brighter than his." Jesu shakes his head. "My poor brother."

"Exactly. So, will you?"

Jesu sighs. "I suppose there is no harm in it. The real challenge is deciding which memory to talk about."

J.D. grins slyly.

Jesu cringes. "I do not like that look."

"Tell them how you became a vampire."

Jesu rolls his eyes. "Some how I knew you would say that."

J.D. giggles. "Please?" She gestures to her bedroom door, where the computer is waiting on the other side. "And don't leave out the all the good details! It took me ages to come up with that part of your life."

Jesu chuckles as he stands. "That is a lie, it took you five minutes."

J.D. sticks her tongue out. "So?" She points to her bedroom door. "Go. Scoot!"

Smiling, Jesu salutes J.D. before heading to the computer. He steps over her mess of clothes and bits of paper, then sit at her desk and logs onto Blogger.

How I Became a Vampire
By Jesu ta Korento

The year was 391 B.C. and it was the night before my 15th birthday. I was asleep on a bed of hay (something that, to this day, makes me grateful for modern mattresses) in the slaves keep when my Master woke me. I remember the look of urgency on his face. He rushed me to to his bed chamber. I thought for sure I was in trouble for something even though my master was much kinder to me than he was to the other slaves.

When we arrived, he shut and locked the door. Obviously something was wrong, but he did not speak a word of it to me, so I could not ask. Slaves did not speak unless spoken to. He grabbed my arm and yanked me toward his bed.

The Lady of the house, my Master's sister, sat at the edge of the bed. She was a beautiful woman, all milky skin and long, orange hair. But that night, her emerald colored eyes hung in distraught. "Oh, Connor, you do not have to harm the boy," she said. He was not hurting me, but I was frightened.

She gestured for me to sit next to her, so I obeyed. She took my hands in hers, which was not unusual. She was always a warm soul. She treated me as fairly as she treated her own son. "My dearest Anwell," she called me by the pet name she'd given me, loosly translated as beloved one. "How you have grown into a man. I have been blessed to watch you grow up, I never thought ... but now I must tell you ...." She squeezed my hands as her breath caught.

"For gods' sakes, Jord," said my Master. "We do not have time for sentiment. Tell the boy now or send him away."

My heart raced. Away? I did not want to be sent away, I liked it there. I knew it was foolish, but I had come to think of the Lord and Lady's castle as my home.

The Lady swiped at her eyes and nodded. She placed a hand on my cheek. "Dearest Jesu, I am your mother."

I jumped to my feet, but held my tongue. A thousand questions raced through my mind, but I focused on the floor, not sure if asking would be too bold.

My reaction seemed to upset her. She threw her arms around me and pulled me against her. "Oh, my son, I wanted to tell you, truly I did, but it would have endangered your life."

"I ... I do not understand."

"I am your mother, Jesu. Conner, is your uncle."

I glanced at my Master. He nodded. "It is the truth, my boy."

I blinked back tears. "Than, why...?"

"Oh Anwell, you know what we are. Surly you must have noticed, after all this time, how we are different."

At first I thought my mother meant how she and my uncle were surrounded by riches I could only dream of. Of how her husband, my father, thought he was above the law.

"You must have noticed, Jesu, how your uncle and I do not eat food. How we are awake at all hours of the night. Do you not notice our dislike of the sun?"

As a matter of speaking, I hadn't noticed. Being a slave was tiresome work. I slept from dusk to dawn in the slave keep, which was across the way from the castle. How was I to notice anyone was awake after hours? Back then, only the working stock had tans from tilling the garden. A woman of good breeding always stayed indoors and shielded her sensitive skin from the sun. As for their feeding habits, I did not work in the kitchen.

I shook my head.

My mother looked distraught. "Jesu, I don't know how else to tell you ... your father and I ... your uncle ... we are all vampires."

I had herd the term before. The other slaves sometimes whispered it in regards to the Lord and Lady of the house. They always spoke it in a nasty tone, but I never bothered to ask what a vampire was.

"Son," said my uncle. "We are demon folk."

"Oh Conner, do not give the boy the wrong idea!" She faced me. "We are not human, son. We are of a different kin."

I glanced at my uncle and then my mother. They both wore the same expression of hope, but I did not understand. "So... I am vampire too?"

"Unfortunately, no. You are human."

My mother frowned. "We do not understand why, but sometimes our children are not always born the same."

I thought of my mother's first son, my brother, my father's favorite. Understanding began to shine. "Jalmari is a vampire," I whispered.

My mother's eyes gleamed in the moon light. "Yes. You must be terribly upset, but now is not time for explanations and apologies. You are a man, and your father has long noticed how your uncle and I favor you. He does not like it. He feels threatened and your father does not like threats."

"My father does not like me?"

"He does not know you are his," my uncle clarified. "Your birth was hidden from him. He would have killed you and possibly even blamed your mother. That is why we led you to believe you were an orphan."

Feeling light-headed, I leaned against my mother. I would have sagged to the floor if she wasn't still holding me. "Why are you telling me this now?"

My mother glanced at my uncle then took a deep breath. "I wanted you to know the truth before... before we..."

"Before you send me away," I finished. "My presents threatens the Lord, so now I must go. I understand."

My mother hesitated. "There is an other way. You can become a vampire and stay with us, should you choose."

I perked up. "How?"

My mother bit her lip. She furrowed her orange eyebrows and glanced away as though having second thoughts.

"A bite," said my uncle.

"A ... a bite?"

He nodded. "A simple bite of the flesh from one of us is all it takes."

"Then ... then why did you not bite me when I was a baby?"

"It is not that simple," my mother snapped. "Becoming our kin through bite curses the vampire! You would lose your will. You would be forever damned to obey the vampire that bit you. How could I make that choice for my infant?"

"Aye," said my uncle. "Your miserable existence falls to your mother's inability to turn you with out your permission."

"Oh Conner!"

I glanced at them. "Is it really true? All you have to do is bite me and I can stay?"

Mother blinked at me. "Well, yes, son. But you have a choice. You can leave and continue life as a human --"

"Forgive me, madam, but why would I choose that?"

She bit her lip. "You will live a very different, very long life. You will never sleep again. You will never see the light of day."

"Quit trying to talk him out of it, Jord, you know this is what you want too."

My mother turned a sidelong glance to my uncle. "Of course I want my son to stay with me, but he is a man, Conner, and deserves to choose his own fate."

"Mmm. So what will it be, boy?"

The answer seemed obvious to me. "I want to stay. I want to be a vampire ... please, I do not want to leave."

My uncle chuckled. "No need to beg, boy, we are happy to keep you. All you have to decide now is who you want to be your sire, your mother or I, and do not not think either one of us will take offense if the other is chosen."

"I do not mean to rush you, dearest, but it is nearly dawn. Your father will be back soon."

I sucked in a deep breath. The decision was already etched on my heart. My poor mother thought I loathed her for keeping me in the dark, but I couldn't have been happier. I had a family. All this time, I had people who loved and watched over me, right here. "I want you to do it ... Mother."

She touched her fingers to her lips. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Than, you best give me your wrist."

I raise the underside of my arm to her beautiful lips. She grabbed it but paused to give me one last glance.

"Please," I whispered.

She leaned over my arm. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my jaw as her teeth pierced my skin.

I have been a creature of the night from that day forth. My father was terribly angry when my mother told him, but he eventually came to tolerate me. My brother and I have been inseparable even since.... well, at least until Jenna came into our lives. But that is a story only J.D. can tell.

Dear J.D. ....

My characters left me a little note on my desk this morning. Very funny guys... In case you can't read it, it says:


Dear J.D.

I know it's your first time trying to juggle two novels at once, but I'm disappointed that you went back to the vampires before you finished Siren Goddess. Please get on that.

- Seth

P.S. We're out of beer!

Seth,
You can't send that to J.D.! That's mean. Besides, it's supposed to be a blog - Ana

Ana is a poop head

Jerk

*Seriously, we're out of beer
- The Sirens

We also seem to be out of blood, Jesu

A Day in the Life of a Vampire - or - A Bunch of Characters Rambling Off-topic Again

Jenna: What's the topic, again?

J.D.: "A day in the life."

Jenna: Meaning ...?

J.D.: Just blog about a typical day for you.

Jenna: Before or after I became a vampire?

J.D.: Uh ... after would probably be the correct choice seeing as how you are now firmly a vampire in my mind.

Jenna huffs: Which I still don't appreciate, for the record.

J.D: Yeah, yeah.

Jenna glances at the computer screen and hesitates: Is this supposed to be about a day in the novel or a day in your head?

J.D.: Um ... good question. I would would go with a day in the novel since, if you talked about a day in my head, you would be writing about a day in my life as apposed to yours.

Jenna makes a face: But I don't like talking about life as a vampire.

Jesu perks up: Why not?

Jenna glares at Jesu: A little privacy, please?

Jesu mumbles sorry and pretends to watch T.V.

Jenna: Can't someone else do this post? One of the new characters or something?

Seth appears out of nowhere: I'll do it.

J.D.: You most certainly will not.

Seth: But my life is awesome. The gigs, the parties, the groupies ...

J.D.: Exactly.

Jenna: She only picks on the miserable ones, Seth. You'll see.

J.D.: Hey! I do not. And why are you miserable, Jenna?

Jenna scowls: Like you don't know.

J.D.: Um ... no, I don't know.

Jesu: My guess is she's seen that Amazon Award contest idea in your head.

J.D. blinks: So?

Jesu: So ... she wont even blog about her life, you think she wants everyone reading the novel?

Jenna: You can shut up any time now, Jesu.

J.D., jaw dropped to the floor: Jenna, that can't be true? Why else would I have slaved over the keyboard nearly going crossed-eyed and ripping my hear out over your story if I didn't intend for it to be read by an audience?

Jenna points at Jalmari: That's why.

Jalmari: What?

J.D.: Okay, I admit, Jalmari did practically force me to write it, but it's a great story, Jenna, and people are going to read it, and now we are off subject. Your blog post, please?

Jenna: Fine. Each day I get harassed by a bunch of stuck-up, rude vampires. Then I'm forced to hurt and embarrass myself by practicing my so-called powers. Then I'm forced to drink blood, which makes me do more embarrassing things, things comparable to what a drunk sailor might do. Everyone gets mad at me even though I can't help it and I didn't want to drink the blood in the first place. Then I'm left a lone, hurt, and romantically confused. Oh and the best part? It never, ever stops because we don't sleep.

Jesu quirks a brow: Romantically confused?

Jenna scrunches her nose at Jesu and then storms out of the room.

Jesu, mumbling to himself: Romantically confused.

J.D. pats Jesu on the arm to comfort him: Maybe I should have had an other character do this post.

Seth: It must be her time of the month.

J.D.: Not now, Seth.

Ana walks in: What's wrong with Jenna? I passed her in the hall, she seems upset.

Seth: Miss Obvious joins the conversation.

Ana punches Seth in the arm: If was your fault ....

Seth: What? You'll break my arm?

Ana, grinning: I'd do that anyway.

Seth, laughing: I'd like to see you try.

J.D.: Guys! Can't we ever get through one blog post without me getting a headache?

Seth: Isn't the post technically done? Jenna did state what a typical day is like for her, even if it was layered in sarcasm and not very detailed.

J.D.: Thank you, Seth. So why am I still typing our conversation?

Seth looks at his hands: Oh, sorry, that was me.

J.D. quirks an eyebrow: How the heck did you get control of my hands? Oh gods, that's very bad.

Seth grins and shrugs: I don't know, it just happened.

Jesu: We can all do that when you type. Just, most of us are a little more respectful.

J.D.: You can? Well stop it!

Seth: But this is good stuff, and you don't give me enough lime light as it is.

J.D.: Seth, you don't even have your Greek accent yet, for one. And, two, this post is getting too long any WAY off topic. I demand you stop right no--

A Chat About Character Voice

Ana: Jen, I'm so glad you finally figured out my voice!

J.D.: Yeah me too. It just came to me while I was spacing out at work. The writing's coming along so much smoother now.

Seth: So when do you think you'll figure out my voice?

J.D.: Um ... you're a little more complicated, Seth.

Seth: Me? Complicated?

*Ana and Jen both nod*

Seth: Pssh. I'm the most uncomplicated guy I know.

J.D.: Well, see, that's the thing. You're a GUY. And I'm a woman. That alone makes it difficult for me to get inside your head.

Seth: And yet I am the one living in your head ... wouldn't you be trying to get inside your own mind then?

J.D.: Ahh! Stop it Seth! You're giving me a head ache.

Ana: Give her time, Seth, She'll get to you.

J.D.: *rubbing her forehead* Did you know you're supposed to have an accent when you talk?

Seth: *shrugs* So give me an accent.

J.D.: Do you know how hard it is to deal with accents? Trying to portray them right without making the reading difficult?

Ana: I'll bet it's a sexy accent.

*Seth and Jen both raise their eyebrows at Ana*

Ana: What?

J.D.: *shrugs* It's a Greek accent.

Ana: *nodding* Makes sense.

J.D.: Trouble is, I have no idea what a Greek accent sounds like.

Ana: Research it. I can check YouTube for you! *opens a new browser window*

*Ana and Jen lean in and listen to a few videos*

J.D.: Is it just me or does it sound very close to Bulgarian?

Ana: It does kind of resemble your step-dad's accent.

J.D.: Oh great. Now I'm going to think of my step-dad while thinking about Seth. That's just perfect.

Ana: Sorry!

Seth: Why don't you just watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding ten more times. I'm sure you'll get it eventually.

*Ana and Jen look at each other and grin*

J.D: I'll get the popcorn!

Ana: I'll get the movie!

Seth: *facepalm* I think all the men in your head just died a little.

J.D.: Well, they have you to thank for that, Seth. *cheesy grin*

Seth: I think I'll go to Anastasia Pergakis' head and watch Burn Notice.

J.D.: Oh no you don't! She has enough characters to deal with. Besides, you need to watch this and practice. Can you roll your R's?

Seth: Duh. The real question is can you remember that I roll my R's?

*Both women give Seth "The Look"*

Seth: *winces* I think I just died a little more.

(Okay, I had to include this pic below because it looks just like a real-life Ana and Seth talking! *Gasp*)